BY MY HUMBLE SELF
His one aim was to become the
number one motivational speaker, first on this campus, and then in the larger
competitive world. Even though he was a training Linguist, he never ceased to
keep in touch with vibrant literary works of great motivational speakers, and
attending seminars featuring acclaimed speakers was part of his integral
schedule. So, in order to subject his public speaking development to the check
of reality and further enhance his growth, he would make series of appearances
before his class mates and started dishing out impressive and fascinating
statements of motivation eloquently being spurred on by the intermittent
interjections of sighs, nods, and effusive audible approval from his enthralled
audience. Whenever he dropped one of his never-ending sagacious lines, he would
promptly allude to the original owner of the quote. But whenever he kept mum on
the identity of the original owner of the quote, someone in the class would pop
in and asked, ‘by whom?’ This was
the part they typically enjoyed most, and in most cases, the answer was
usually, ‘by my humble self of course.’
He would say this as if he half-expected his audience to have already known and
then would bow his raised head slightly, ostensibly, as a sign of humility. But
it was never difficult for me to see him basking in the momentary elation that
such transient period of self-acknowledgment brought with it.
Wherever I was seated listening
intently to his well-thought out and well-articulated spiel, I would never fail
to engage in a mental attempt at identifying his plagiaristic tendencies which
I knew he was very prone to. Some of the unfamiliar quotes he normally claimed
to be product of his thought were, in most cases, not his, but because he had
read so wide and his literary-shallow audience read with indolent frugality,
they hardly found him out. Even, if per chance someone did find out, the
audacity to challenge a slick-talking motivational speaker was usually lacking.
So, on this particular day, I wasn’t
so much prepared to start a highly rigorous mental task of subjecting our
perpetual motivational speaker’s loose claims to the scrutiny of my own, even
superior, literary vastness. He strolled confidently down to the front like the
wannabe motivational speaker that he was and started with a wise dose in a
rather unusual manner. But suddenly, against my initial mental lethargy, I
became alerted by the quote he had used as his opening gambit. That particular
citation was still fresh in my memory and it wasn’t difficult for me recalling
where and who was originally responsible for the quote. It was during a
broadcasted interview of a man of God that came to Nigeria the other day.
Taking the initiative this time around of posing the ‘by who’ question to our
own Fela Durotoye of the future, I waited with bated breath for what his
response would be.
Being the smart guy that he was, he had
quickly surmised that my uncharacteristic decision to pose the ‘by who’
question, that normally got his ego bloated like a cat that has got the cream,
could only have meant one thing – I knew the very truth. He paused abruptly and
latched on to me with searching eyes desperate for a peep into my head in a
vain attempt at grasping the extent or the accuracy of what I really knew. He
couldn’t believe that a fellow student could have been annoyingly fortuitous to
have seen the televised interview by a remote TV channel – even if possible,
not an English student. By now, the
whole class had been submerged in a still ocean of expectant silence, and only
the answer from our local speaker could once again generate the ripples of ease
in the still waters. The once smooth show was now almost going awry with
the impending shame hanging precariously in the thin air. With true charisma
peculiar to motivational speakers, he dared the odds and said, ‘by my humble self of course.’ He said
this one with a sardonic smile and a smug look suffusing the smiling face. He
was indeed good at that self-accrediting line to the point of credible
deception. He had probably thought I wouldn’t be mean enough to have challenged
any further but I disappointed him with his eyes still pleadingly lingering on
me. In a care-free manner and making sure to add the right dose of
condescending smile, I spoke. “How come
your very own quote had been used by a man of God whose interview was
broadcasted yesterday by a TV channel? That must have been one hell of a sheer
coincidence?”
Instantly, of course, he
declaimed knowledge of any man of God or God of man and then added thoughtfully
that the said man of God must have been excavating the same thought ground as
he had been. And then, in a brilliant way that provoked the naïve applause of
his apprehensive audience, he capped his speech for that morning by saying, “great men think alike.” The lecturer
came in and the struck-but-not-demoralized speaker walked past me to his seat.
Five minutes later, a note was passed on to me and inside the note was a three-worded
acknowledgment – you were right. I
couriered back the note with another three-worded statement – you are good. Intuitively, I was
convinced the guy would definitely make it out there in his chosen profession.
Throughout the rest of the times
he stood in front to hone his oratory skill by motivating the class, he never
carelessly claimed quotations of wise and highly profound sages to himself
again.
PRINCIPLE: life is in stages, there is a stage to quote and a
stage to be quoted. And of course, this statement is by my humble self. Believe
me, I’m not lying.
