LISTEN   ACTIVELY

Not everyone has to possess the same style of listening, but people are advised to use active listening skills, as they will likely become much better listeners. Active listening demands that the receiver of a message put aside the belief that listening is easy and that it happens naturally and realize that effective listening is hard work.

I noticed recently that I easily tune off during conversations, I tend to pretend as if I listen to every word but God have mercy, I don’t. Recollecting things talked about during conversation is quite difficult, it seems my brain sieves thing it wants to store and discard the others but the most painful aspect is that I need those recordings sieved out.  The result of active listening is more efficient and effective communication. When listening, do you concentrate just on the words that are being said, or do you also concentrate on the way they are being said? The way a speaker is standing; the tone of voice and inflections he or she is using ,and what the speaker is doing with his or her hands are all part the message that is being sent. A person who raises his or her voice is probably either angry or frustrated. A person looking down while speaking is probably either embarrassed or shy. Interruption may suggest fear or lack of confidence. Persons who make eye contact and lean forward are likely exhibiting confidence. Arguments may reflect worry. Listening to body languages that are sighted above helps a lot in effective communication.

 I have been fluctuating when it comes to being an active listener. Are you an effective listener? Ask a friend that you communicate with regularly and who you know will answer honestly to respond to these questions. Do not answer the questions yourself. We often view ourselves as great listener when in fact others know that we are not;

v During the past two weeks, can you recall an incident where you thought I was not listening to you?

v When you are talking to me, do you feel relaxed, at least 90% of the time?

v When you are talking to me, do I maintain eye contact with you most of the time?

v Do I get defensive when you tell me things with which I disagree?